Have you once wondered how would it feel when the time comes for your life to see its sunset? Awkward morning question? Well.. I don’t know, maybe bit much of pain I have been going through these days somehow put that perception on me.
Don’t get me wrong girlfirend, I have no intention of letting go yet.. but to be honest with you, the feeling that went through me yesterday as I was sitting reciting qur’an in my bedroom balcony when the sun almost set, and the bird completed such theatrical-drama atmosphere by hovering above my eyes groups by groups.. well, I gotta tel you; it was somehow peaceful in some non-crazy ways. Peaceful enough that I spent whole time that evening letting myself embrace that wave of feelings that came through 🙂
The thing is, I guess as I have spent most of my strength trying to strive like any good human being would do, I somehow forget to spend bit of it preparing to face the very much open probability of having to let go at some point. My cousin brother who is now in hospital for colon cancer late stadium, n whom I’d still hope to open his eyes and laugh like he used to do, is one among some people I know who may now be seeing what I saw yesterday.
But sunset is there, sometime is out of your lonely heart and a lot of pain you are not intending to bear anymore. So you let go, because letting go sometime does feel much easier. I remember once my father said me when I cried in his lap; that even if you see the sunset is there, there are people whom you need to remember a lot, when you are on your strongest vibe to walk to it. some people who deserve your best effort to decline whatever relief you may expect from releasing your pain. so from time to time, that 10 minutes conversation is one that survives me most when I start loosing hope.
This may be one of my crazy rambling in such gloomy morning as is now.. so you probably best just ignore me. But if you are, one of those folks who think their sunset is there.. hold on. Just hold on. even if you must give in to those sunsets eventually.. at least you pass leaving those people believing that you tried your best. 🙂